Christmas Arseholes

Arseholes Everywhere; Why Christmas Brings Out The Worst In People

Although we’re rapidly approaching the festive season where people are supposed to be full of merriment and joy, more often than not, the arseholes amongst us seem to come out in full force.

Whether it’s the stress of obtaining this year’s must-have present for demonic little Bruce, the pressure of perfecting the roast spuds or the thought of spending a week locked up with great-grandma Mildred after a healthy heap of sprouts, the Grinch vibes seem to strengthen this time of year.

The truth of the matter is, we’ve experienced our fair share of utter f*ck nuts this week, so we thought we’d delve a bit deeper into the psyche of why people behave like complete arseholes at this time of year.

Let’s start with the weather – we’re British after all, so it seemed like the most logical starting point


During the festive season here in the UK the days are shorter and the weather is generally bloody abysmal and there’s a raft of data that suggests that reduced daylight has a negative effect on our mood, so that’s already an issue. A 2006 study also suggested that mood and wellbeing correlated with exposure to daylight, but also with general illumination and colour. Environments that were too dark, or too bright, caused negative moods, suggesting that an environment that’s generally dark but regularly punctuated with bright lights and garish colours would be the worst option for taxing our brains. Now consider the typical Christmas decorations you encounter everywhere…see where I’m going?

Pre-Christmas workload

Contrary to popular belief Christmas doesn’t just “happen”, or pop out of thin air because you wished on a satellite (despite what many a Christmas film would suggest). Someone works their ass off to put it all together. Traditionally it’s mum or the family matriarch and that might explain why they’re a tad tetchy during the run-up to the big man’s arrival.

Great expectations

Close your eyes and imagine your perfect Christmas. Are you picturing a cosy cheerful, tastefully decorated home, surrounded by pristine snow, in which a happy family gathers to share a large dinner cooked to picture-postcard perfection????

Do you dream of that every year?

Well, I am sorry to burst your bubble, but chances are that’s not gonna happen is it?! I mean pandemic aside, have you ever actually created that picture-perfect Christmas? No? Didn’t think so.

The reality is, Christmas is a messy, chaotic, stressful festivity and that’s fine. This year, let’s lower those expectations, turn the grinch-o-meter down a notch and accept the carnage for what it is.

Assholes are everywhere. They’re unavoidable. As long as there is pain to be had, there will be people who feel compelled to inflict it on others. But just remember: no matter what, no matter how much some arseshole wants to take a crap on your day, you’re f*cking awesome!


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